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Children And Divorce: Family Life And Co-Parenting After Divorce

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By Angela Lankenhurst

Unfortunately, marriages can sometimes go awry. While sometimes effective, seeking help such as marriage guidance does not always work for everyone.

A break-up of a marriage or committed co-habiting partnership can feel impossible to get your head around; but it can be even harder to deal with when there are children involved.

But that isn’t to say that family life will always stop after a divorce, it is just likely to be altered or different. Getting used to new arrangements can be stressful and upsetting for all parties involved, especially if the kids are going back and forth between two homes.

Here’s how to manage your co-parenting responsibilities and family life arrangements after the separation.

Two Homes

As a child, it can be disorienting having two homes, regardless of the amount of time spent in either. Different rules in each house can further confuse them, so communication is still essential between the mother and father.

If the kids stay at one home during the weekdays, and their other home on the weekend; it is possible that this could lead to resentment if one parent has to nag to get them to bed, whilst the other one takes them to the park to have fun.

Joint Responsibility

Your family situation will depend on the arrangements of your divorce, but most require communication to continue between the parents. There will always be a thread that connects you to your ex-partner.

However, in many cases it may take time to re-establish conversations of a composed and calm nature if there are still feelings of bitterness after the divorce. If civil is as far as you can push yourself, this is probably still more beneficial to your children than blazing rows.

Coparenting After Divorce

Your family situation will depend on the arrangements of your divorce

Special Events

Learning to “share” your children can be a challenge; especially around special events such as Christmas and summer holidays. Understanding and compromising can go a long way to keep emotions under control. Planning ahead with your ex-partner can keep the peace, and having a backup plan may be a good idea just in case circumstances change.

Seeking Help

If you are having difficulty dealing with your divorce, not-for-profit organizations such as Relate for Parents have specially trained counselors who are able to help you cope with your situation by talking through your problems.

© Angela Lankenhurst writes about home and family topics such as parenting and family issues. She spends her time working with children and families on a variety of projects in the community. To find out more about approaching your teens, please access the support library on the Relate for Parents website. Relate for Parents cover a number of family issues from marriage guidance to eating disorders.
This article may be reproduced with the complete author bio and a live link back to http://www.lovingyourchild.com
Additional resources:
  • The Secret to a Friendly Divorce – The divorce book you want your soon-to-be ex to read. Your personal guide to a cooperative, affordable, and out-of-court settlement. It shows you a surprisingly simple way to discuss money with your soon-to-be ex without stirring up trouble and without making your divorce harder than it has to be.
  • Smart Divorce: Parent Happy, Healthy Kids – Outlines a step-by-step holistic approach on how to help your children not to just survive, but thrive. The return of hope to your children’s lives is the greatest gift you can give them. Even if it’s been years since the divorce, it’s not too late to begin the healing.
  • Co-parenting Nightmare – Are you co-parenting with someone who is crazy, diagnosed with mental illness or a substance abuser? Are you constantly in court fighting over child custody or visitation issues? Learn strategies to help you and your children cope with a tough situation.

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